Why October is the Best

Fellow On His Tabbers, I’m a firm believer that October is the best month of the year. You’ve got all the main sports in-season, unreal Halloween outfits, loads of candy, Octoberfest, and so much more.

I get that Halloween might not be a “real holiday”, I get that alcohol “isn’t healthy for me”, and I get that there’s “probably more to life than sports”…but do you really think a month like September is better? I just had to pray for 3,000 people and their families last month on 9/11, it doesn’t get more depressing than that. October is the time to let go of that sadness and embrace your crazy Halloween avatar.

Ladies, you can finally enjoy your PSL’s and trendy fall outfits. Guys, you can enjoy those same girls probably wearing very little to no clothing on Halloween AND Halloween weekend.

On top of all that, you’ve got all the spooky puns (completely intended), the satisfaction of throwing candy at trick-or-treaters, decorations the wifey can put up (to be honest, fuck the decorations), and the candles always smell nice.

Moral of the blog, October is the best. I don’t care how much food you ate and gained weight off of on Thanksgiving, I don’t care about the material things you were given on Christmas, and I don’t care about it being 2020, that just makes me feel older than I already am. One thing I care about is that all of you crazy creatures have a fun and safe Halloween out there. Enjoy the greatest month of the year.

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